Dating - The Pole, The Fin, & The American

So now that I have been single for a while, I have decided to finally start dating. I have to be honest, it has been quite fun yet a bit confusing too.   In this blog post, I want to talk about 3 different nationalities I have dated: Polish, Finnish and Americans. I will write the good, the bad, and the ugly about these 3 nationalities and I hope you guys will find it entertaining. 

The Poles - I moved to Poland back in the summer of 2013 and I had no idea what I signed up for (in the dating scene, at least).  At that time Tinder was pretty popular in the US, but in Poland it still wasn’t. The way I was able to meet men was to go out and do it the old fashion way - looking cute and hoping some guy will strike a conversation with me. Of course, that rarely happened and I actually met guys through friends. 

  • The good: Polish guys are definitely considered gentlemen; they will always open the door for you, let you in the room first, and will fill your glass if it’s half full. I mean, they sound great, don’t they?! 

  • The bad: The thing that disappointed me the most about Polish guys was the fact that a lot of them didn’t want anything serious. They wanted to hang out with me with no strings attached. This can be good for someone that’s looking for such relationships, but I am more of a monogamous-type person….so no thanks!

  • The ugly: Well, I don’t really have anything to say, Polish guys are definitely not terrible. I think I missed out a lot because I was unable to meet people my age (I was 23/24 at that time) that spoke English well. So that’s probably why I never was in a serious relationship with a Polish man. 

The Fins - All right, so this might be a bit biased because I have only dated two Fins. And I must say some people would probably appreciate Fins because they very much see women as their equals, however, if you are a bit more traditional, it may seem rude. I have some stories that Poles will find shocking, Fins will find normal, and Americans will find bizarre. 

  • The good: Something really great about the Fins is that they see women as their equals.  They also tend to be very punctual, which I adore and appreciate. I want to get back to seeing women as equals because it does sound like a dream, but it is not always a walk through the park. I do identify myself as a feminist, but there are times, you gotta be thoughtful and considerate (Finnish guys!!). For me, Finnish men lack this aspect. I’ll explain it in a bit. 

  • The bad: Because Fins see women as equals they tend to (very often) forget that women need help when it comes to certain aspects of life, for example carrying heavy things. Here’s a story: I was dating John (name has been changed), who I met through my co-worker. On this specific date I decided to ride my ex-roommate’s bike (that was way too big for me) because we were moving to a new flat. Anyway, John and I agreed to meet at the train station. And so, there I am, waiting for him and finally he gets off the train and we meet. Since I had dated Polish guys, I immediately assumed that John would offer to take the bike and walk with it, instead he never offered his help and I was stuck - pushing and carrying it up and down the stairs. To this day, I find it surprising that he never did offer to help me, but on hindsight, it makes total sense for a Finn not to even think about asking me if I needed help. Of course, at that time, I let this situation slip because I justified it with “maybe I am being too dramatic.” At the end of the day, we weren’t on the same page and I realized it wasn’t just him, it’s all Fins. 

  • The ugly: Because their society is very rich they are prone to also be quite selfish and this goes with any relationship they have. In Finland, people are proud that they don’t need to take out student loans because education is free, so they don’t need to discuss what they want to study with their parents. They are proud to say that when they grow old they don’t need to rely on their children. This is great but there is a negative side effect to that, which is being too selfish. The Fins don’t think about others, what I mean is that they are not thoughtful or considerate because they are raised to be fully independent. My ex and I (who I hope will not read this blog post) used to get in many bickering arguments regarding this topic - whenever we would cook he would take out one set of utensils, one plate for only himself and he would only pour himself water/juice/whatever. He never thought about me, his partner. I definitely don’t want to blame him because I understand that’s how his culture is. However, no wonder why Fins have one of the highest divorce rates and highest number of suicides within the elderly. 

The American - I should really add an “s” to American because I have gone on a few dates since being back. I have to say, it has been really fun dating men here but that’s because dating apps are so prominent in the US that it enables you to not only meet people that you probably wouldn’t have a chance to meet, but you can also start a conversation before meeting that person. As you know, things in the US are pretty hot when it comes to Politics - trump lovers vs. trump haters (I am a hater in this case). So before I even go on a date, I ask where they stand politically, once I know that, I can decide whether to waste time or not. Not only that, but I can communicate freely with them and that’s really such a refreshing thing to experience once again. 

  • The Good: I have to bring it up again, but being able to communicate freely with no obstacles! It is so rewarding being able to have deep, meaningful conversations on various topics. But you all know that. One of the things that surprised me the most about Americans is that my image of them was completely wrong. For some reason, I thought American men liked to go “dutch” (meaning I pay for my meal and you pay for yours) but to my surprise most Americans don’t do that. The man usually pays, not always, but most of the time. I was also pleasantly surprised with the fact that they open the door for you, like the Poles and are overall considered gentlemen.

  • The Bad: The downside of Americans is that some of them feel pressured into getting married once they’re in their late 20’s, early 30’s. So as soon as they find someone somewhat interesting they immediately believe (after 1 date) you are “wife” material, which for me, it is definitely not the case. There’s the other side of the stick too, you go on dates with guys and you know they are players. They are looking to date around and if they are lucky, get something out of you.

  • The Ugly: So I have nothing to write yet because like I said, I just started dating again. I am assuming the only thing that I would say “ugly” about Americans is that many of them haven’t traveled outside of the US, which is extremely disappointing for me. That means many are narrow minded when it comes to certain topics. But I wouldn’t say that’s an “ugly” aspect of dating an American guy, it is just a disadvantage that can easily be fixed. 

So there we go! That’s all I’ve got. Have you guys experienced something similar to me? What are your experiences with dating guys from different countries? Which nationality is the best? Can’t wait to hear your opinions :)